I consider myself a pretty good mom. Since the day Kendra was born, I found motherhood to be easy. I loved getting up at night. I loved nursing her. I loved changing her. Things that some mom's might find frustrating or difficult, I found to be simple. Things were easy, she was easy. Now she's not! I've been a crappy mom lately. I've been so focused on all the negative things that it's trully consumed my whole attitude. I've been really worried about what "everyone" thinks about me as a mom. The other day I started a fight with Nick in the car & when I looked back at Kendra she was staring out the window & sucking her thumb. Kendra DOES NOT suck her thumb. It broke my heart. My sweet girl was nervous & confused because of me. Not the proudest moment in my life but a lesson that I definitely needed. The next day I tried harder, and the next day and the next day. It's only been a few days and Kendra is a new little person. Tonight when I put her to bed she wouldn't stop playings so I turned my back to her. I heard her say "Mama, Back?" and a few seconds later her tiny fingers were tickling my back.......
....i needed that.
4 comments:
You are a great Mom Crystal... everyone has there bad times.
YOu are a very good Mother, because you recognize what you think you need to change!
Hope Nick is feeling better soon!
We miss you so much and love you even more!
Hug little Kendra for us!
Ah, Crystal--truly you are one of the best mom's I have ever had the privilege of watching. You are so sweet, so kind, so patient and just so THERE with Kendra. She is a lucky girl and I admire those qualities in you so very much. I wish I had more of them. For me, being a mother is mostly work and I feel badly for my children that it is the case. It's something I've worked on from the beginning and still struggle with--therefore it's easy for me to relate to the hard moments you've been having, as well as holding onto those golden moments. I honestly think you will have more of them than many of us do because you love motherhood--that's a gift, for all of you. Don't be too hard on yourself--it's normal to just feel worn down by it, but know that no one is judging you, other than yourself, and that Kendra is one blessed little girl to have a mother with a heart like yours.
How come I'm always learning these great lessons from my little sister!? Maybe because you are one fantastic, beautiful, and wonderful gal! I LOVE you almost as much as that little red head LOVES you. Oh, and I miss you lots too :)
Right now I am so proud to be your mom. I watch you with my little Grand daughter and never worry. I see that unconditional love shine through every minute of every day with her. YOur not perfect, and if that was the case, there would be no reason for you to be here. So enjoy that little bundle of mischief and every mistake in between that helps you to recognize
what it is you need to teach and nurture our Kendra into a beautiful person.....just like her mommmy! I love you sis!
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